1958

 Below is a full prose piece I wrote regarding my characters Judas Kase and Niall Chesky. Some really difficult characters they've been to characterize. I like them so much. They mean a lot to me.

Niall is a morphine addict, been using since the late 40s. Judas and him met thru a murder case he was investigating, and now they're intertwined. This is two years into a relationship that was built off of lies and intricate psychoanalysis. I'm still trying to decide if I want Niall to be an evil person in action and not in moral, because he is an upstanding moralist, but also very mentally deteriorated and very aware of his manipulative tendencies, and uses sharp and deep-cut angles to support his iffy ethics. Very complicated feelings about all possibilities of these characters. I've taken a little inspo from Disco Elysium and Naked Lunch (More-so William S. Burroughs' books in general), and it's been sweet finding parallels between the plan I have for cheskase and the media I hold so dear.

RITUAL MAGAZINE : ISSUE #11

 via milksockets on tumblr

GOD LOVES FAGS

My queerness is such an integral part of my life and I don't think I realized this until I started publicly expressing myself as a queer man.

I envy the average gay man back in the mid-to-late 1900s because of how both secretive but so out everyone was. They were all trailblazing their movement for their personal freedoms and the fight for their rights. They had tight-knit connections that understood everything they loosely communicated to each-other. It was such a deep rooted community, and they all were so interconnected in ways I can't even begin to analyze without sending myself into a devastatingly long deep-dive into queer psychology and human study. But the way they networked and held relationships and friendships alike just makes me so eager to become a queer adult. It was all made for them, their society within a society. It held the movement together until some loser created the internet and then people felt the need to complain about something, so we got seperated and dished out to different audiences and have created groups within a culture that was supposed to be without disconnection..., or at least without blatant hate of one another.

god grant me the serenity

malikye tucked in a tin of sardines doodle.... will be revising this and maybe painting it who knows